Jeff Ross (00:29.132)
Really?
Jeff Ross (00:40.654)
No, no, you quiet.
How you doing? Good. are you? I'm good, my friend. I'm good. I had a flood and I've had to cancel two of my own shows because I people coming and going in and out and fans and blowers and madness. So right now where it's our winter and it's like under zero. it's winter 20 below zero or something like that.
And the dog wants to go out. this is. Yeah. Meanwhile, we're in a heading into a heat wave down here. I know, I I I envy you actually. Good. Now the girl goes, okay. So I haven't set up a green screen. I'm using, you know, a virtual background. So there might be some weird artifacts and stuff, but we're. Well, Mate, let the main thing be the main thing, right? It's all good. It's always good. Yeah. Cool. All right. Well.
Thank you very much for agreeing to this. I really do appreciate you. honored. My pleasure, my privilege to be with you. Thank you. I had a really good interview with Danny Walsh the other day. That was pretty cool. that's cool. That's cool. Danny's a good guy. I love Danny. Yeah, no, he's pretty legit. He's authentic, right? He's his real deal. He is. And I was supposed to be with him in Los Angeles.
Today, as a matter of fact, this week and I was supposed to be there last week too. I live in Los Angeles, I live in the Midwest and I'm currently in the Midwest where the flood happened and I'm so everything, everything for me changed. I'm still in the Midwest with water damage. I'm reminded things don't happen to us, they happen for us, right? this is, I mean, it's amazing. It is an incredible blessing. It's not something that, you you schedule like, gee, I think I'll have a flood. Yeah.
Jeff Ross (02:39.37)
It's yeah, it's working out beautifully. I mean, you know, for what it is, is you're working out beautifully. So it's like that's it's like saying, I want a new car. want a new car. And then you get it. Your car gets totaled you go. OK, now what? Well, you're getting a new car. I'll actually say this for the interview, but just quickly, my my son, my 12 year old son, he he was back about 12 months ago. He was praying for patients to deal with his brothers, his younger brothers.
And as he's praying for patients, praying for patients, and then he ends up in hospital for two weeks and he's diagnosed with MS. wow. Like this is an extreme story, but it's his story. And he keeps saying to dad, I was praying for patients and guess what God gave me. He gave me patients. No, no. mean, well, there's such a beautiful gosh, you know, there's so few people who have that attitude, that insight and that awareness. He's 12.
And he's 12 years old. Bailey, come on, honey. Cool. Let's get into it, shall we? Yeah, I'm going to have a barking dog every now and then probably. I apologize for that in advance. That's right. You can go lie down with your sister. You could go lie down with your sister.
You can't, what is it? You can't compete with dogs or kids. You know, that's the old acting thing, you know, the worst could happen to an actress. get in a, they have a scene with a kid or a dog or, know, the animal of some sort, the animal, the kid upstage them. So yeah, all the time. Yeah. Cool. All right. Well, I'll do a bit of an introduction. We'll just get into some questions. our audience is very much, network and affiliate marketers, their moms and dads.
they're in that sort of side hustle sort of space, you know, looking to ways to create freedom for themselves. Really looking forward to this, because I know you've got a lot of wisdom to share to that audience specifically. And yeah, we'll just have some fun together. Do you have any questions for me? How long do we go? About half hour, 45 minutes tops. Whatever works for you.
Jeff Ross (04:51.63)
I'm just, I'm just thrilled. I mean, I think, I think you just asked me anything you want. We'll talk however, you know, goes and hopefully you're happy and pleased and it serves your audience. And, but I'd love to get to know you better too, you know, and be able to hang out and spend time finding out about you and what your passions are. I really would appreciate that. I find these, these podcasts interviews are a really great way to open those doors. And, and for me that this last 12 months, this, this has been the biggest asset that I can take away from this conversation. So.
Is this live or is this recorded? No, this will be recorded. Okay, all right. No, good. Yeah. Yeah. Also, part of the brain... can I have another question? Yeah, go for it. Do you edit? Yes, can do. If you needed to. Well, I'm just saying in case the dog has a tantrum or something like that, you know, I'm also expecting insurance people, everybody to call and there may be a call I have to take. Yeah. I'm hoping that it doesn't come during this time, but if it did, I...
I have to take it. mean, yeah, no, understand that. Look, yeah, definitely can edit. So I can do that. Okay. I want to make you do that. But if we might go without a hitch, we'll, we'll pivot and adjust as we need to. The other thing I'd like to mention too, just before we get started is as part of the brand, I'm known as the king of dad jokes. I like to wrap up with a bit of a dad joke. A dad joke. Yeah. So I'll share the joke with you. It's more about seeing your reaction and your response. Okay. At the end, right? Yeah. Yeah. At the end.
Okay. I have to laugh. Well, you can cringe. can do whatever. I did a dad joke with a Dame Doria Cordova the other day and it's just, it's all a bit of fun. No, that's beautiful. I love it. Yeah. Cool. All right. Let's get started. Cool. Well, good day legends. Welcome back to another show with a, sorry. Hang on. There you go. I'm glad this is recorded.
Well, G'day, legends. Welcome back to another episode for the Laptop Lifestyle Dad Show, proudly brought to you in partnership with the Los Angeles Tribune. Hey, I'm your host, Jeff Ross, a proud dad of three amazing boys coming to you from the beautiful island of Tasmania, Australia. As we wrap up 2024 and we prepare to leap into exciting new year, we've got the perfect guest to inspire you and equip you for what's ahead, Rex Sykes.
Jeff Ross (07:15.424)
is joining us for an incredible journey today. He's gonna share his insights about how to create life on your terms. Rex is a trailblazer in the personal development, in helping people to master NLP, and he's also a transformational coach who has helped thousands achieve clarity, purpose, and success. Whether you're looking to align your mindset, hone your storytelling skills,
or building meaningful connections, Rex has wisdom that will set you up to success in 2025 and beyond. So go grab that cuppa, let's tune in, Legends in, and let's get ready for an empowering and action-packed conversation with the one and only Rex Sykes. So Rex, thank you very much for saying yes to becoming a guest on the Laptop Lifestyle Dad Show. Yeah, thank you so much for having me. I'm humbled and honored to be on your show. Thank you.
I really appreciate you and I'm really looking forward to getting to know you personally and for our audience to connect with you as well. So, Rex, as we head into the new year, this is normally a time where most people sort of sit back and reflect on what they want to change in their lives. What advice would you give to someone who's looking to realign with their purpose and start fresh in 2025? what a beautiful question.
I'm going to answer it in a couple of different ways, if you don't mind. Please do. The first is that mindset and attitude is everything. It means the most when it comes to our health, our happiness, our wealth, and the relationships that we have. Because if your attitude isn't right, if your mindset isn't right, if that number one domino isn't placed in the right place, then everything else won't happen the way you ought to. Science tells us this.
Attitude is the number one predictor for success in every area of your life. mean, think about that. Attitude determines how successful you'll be in every area of your life, because if your attitude sucks, then everything else sucks. I mean, essentially, right? And the issue that most people have is that they want to figure out how to do something without knowing how to do it. so they make all of the importance on how to do it.
Jeff Ross (09:38.58)
or what to do or what steps to take or whether they should do it or should not do it instead of going, you know what I first need to do? I need to get my head on straight. need to think. The right thought to think is if it's possible for anyone, it's possible for me. If I don't know how to do it, I can learn to do it. And if I can't learn to do it, I can find somebody who can either help me learn to do it or help me do it or somebody I can purchase it from or
you engaged in some way, but it's, you have to be able to go from what's impossible or unwanted or what you don't like to what you could like, could do, and then decide to make that happen. So it goes from, can't do it to I can do it, or I could do it to, well, if I could do it, then maybe I will do it. And if I will do it, then if I do do it, then I could get some results. And you have to understand
And I just finished a blog for tomorrow. I've been writing a blog for like 15 years every day. haven't ever broken the chain. Consecutive days, over 5,000 blogs. That's my dog. And I do that because if I'm traveling, Bailey, come here. I do that because if I'm traveling and I'm in a place where there's no internet, I have to write a number of minutes advance so that it drips out automatically.
I do it because the people that I'm writing for are important to me and I don't want to disappoint them. So I made a commitment to do daily inspiration and gratitude so many years ago. And so every day I write at least one blog, even if I can't deliver it. But the point being.
Jeff Ross (11:25.738)
is the Wright brothers, for example, wanted to do something that had never been done before. They wanted to create a heavier than air flying machine. And they didn't know how to do it. They were bike manufacturers, know, bike salespeople, but they decided they would undertake this task. And so they started to experiment. They tried and they tried and they tried. Their family said, you know, you're an idiot. Give it up. Everybody hates you. They think you're stupid. This is a lost cause. We're never going to fly. If God met first, fly, we'd have wings, blah, blah. Yeah.
You have to add it in spite of it. what they were doing, which I think is really important is to understand that they were experimenting. Do an experiment. don't know how it's going to work out, but you do know this, that whatever, however it works out, you get some feedback for what you did. Yeah. It's that you ever make a, you never have a failure and you can never make a bad decision. Yeah. people have feedback, right? It's just all research.
Right. it's, you only make a decision and you may not get the result that you wanted or what you intended to hope, you know, happen, but, you've got something back. it's not a bad decision. It's a decision that you didn't want obviously, but you got it. So now what do you do with it? Instead of blaming, which a lot of people do, they got to made a bad decision. They regret, they do go through all sorts of issues. what they need to do is go, I've gotten important feedback to move forward.
So it's always about adjusting and continuing. And so what the Wright brothers did is they would get feedback, they would adjust, they would try again, it didn't work out, they would adjust, they would try again, they kept doing this until they flew. And here's the important point. They didn't know how to fly until after they flew. Yeah, so the four minute model, Roger Bannister, the four minute model, right?
you know, another example, or Thomas Edison with the light bulb, you know, another example. Well, 10,000 trials on the light bulb, right? And I learned how to make a light bulb. the point is, if they didn't have the attitude to be passionate about it, want to do it and persevere in spite of all the odds, they wouldn't. They would have quit. They'd throw in the towel. as would say, you know, if you throw in the towel, if you quit, well, then you failed, you because you gave up. But as long as you're attempting, or as Earl Nightingale would say, you know,
Jeff Ross (13:46.734)
success is a steady progression toward a worthwhile goal. So as long as you're yourself forward in some way, you're getting closer to whatever your outcome might be. And that's something that people need to understand. That's very profound. And I want to go a bit deeper with that because I feel light bulb moments are going off of me and it's like, that's been my journey that sort of describes that. So I'm sure our listeners are having the same sort of experience here.
you know, just to give some context, I tried to kill myself 10 years ago. And, you know, I got to a point in my life where I was so depressed and I thought that I was the problem and my thinking led to that final action almost. And it wasn't until I was interrupted with a, an experience of absolutely immense love that that pulled me up out of that space to help me adjust my thinking and take ownership of a few things and.
and take control of my thinking and my thoughts and my life. And out of that whole last 10 years, I've just been a student of learning how to love myself, to love others, to love God, whatever you want to call it, and to be bigger in that space and not be about me, but be about that service. And I can see that's your heart too, right? It becomes that calling almost that you're not doing it because you want to, you know, the paycheck or anything like that. You're doing it because you have to do it to serve humanity.
So there's that space in there. And then the other thing that comes up to me in this conversation is understanding our thoughts and our pro, you know, and the way that our thoughts lead to our actions, our actions lead to our results, understanding that and having awareness around that, just like you're describing there in the examples of the Wright brothers, we've got to embrace failure. And that was the big thing for me is I had to learn how to fall in love with the concept of failing forward fast.
And, you know, the world says that failure is something that's detrimental, that it'll destroy you or disempower you or help you keep you small. But the opposite is where the truth is at. And so I now live my life, you know, looking for ways to push the boundaries, to push the envelope, to essentially fail forward fast so I can pivot and adjust and go help more people. But what I'm really scared of, what I sort of regret.
Jeff Ross (16:07.638)
So I embrace failure, but I don't want to live a life of regret. And that's a driving force for me to be able to get out of my comfort zone. I love to unpack that a bit deeper. What are some of the light bulbs or something that you want to speak into that conversation? Well, what a beautiful share. Everything that you said was so poignant and so powerful and so positive. I applaud you for those discoveries and how you also share and how you show up in the world and help other people to.
understand and embrace those too. I think an important concept needs to be, you know, if you decide that you're going to run a marathon, it doesn't matter if you make the marathon in a day or in 100 days.
However, if you quit before crossing the finish line, if you give up, you throw in the towel, you didn't complete the If it's 100 days to do a two day marathon, you still you succeeded. just succeeded a little later than than the two days that you gave yourself. So it's we set these rules or society sets these rules and then we try to conform to them. Expectations. The point is there was a rule that you couldn't fly.
in a heavier than air aircraft either, you know, but what he did is instead of saying gravity will demonstrate that you can't, they learned another principle, which was the principle of lift that at a certain speed, rate of acceleration and with a certain design that the plane could actually fly. So instead of letting society or universal principles or the laws or whatever, tell them that they couldn't do it. They said, we'll find, you know, we'll find a way, you know, and they kept buying until they did.
Yeah. And that's important for people to know. Do you know when most people give up?
Jeff Ross (18:00.078)
When they've tried absolutely everything and they've given, you know, they've, yeah, they've talked, they've talked themselves out into it. Really? No, before they start, before they start. Yeah. That's profound. It's already happened before it starts. Yeah. Wow. They've already talked themselves into it. Yep. They go, I want to do this now. I can't do it. I don't have the time. don't have the know. I don't have the people. I don't have the connections. They have all the reasons why they can't do it. And then
And then if they do start, then all those reasons and everything come up. And then they say stupid things like, I'm sabotaging myself. You're not sabotaging yourself. Trying to justify. All you're doing is fulfilling what you learn to do. You're doing the program you learn to do, which was to provide all these reasons and stop. That's not sabotage. That's doing exactly what you learned. is what people, psychology has come along and given us some of the dumbest principles in the world.
you say, well, I wanna do it, but I don't. they go, well, you're counterintentional for holding you back. You don't have counterintentions, you have intentions. Then you think you wanna do something, but you're programmed to do it something a different way. Yeah, that's brilliant. It's like my car, if I put my car in cruise control, it can't do anything it wants, it does what it's programmed to do. And if I go, you're not going fast enough, my car is sabotaging me because...
I mean, that's as silly as what we do with ourselves. So my point is this. Forget that I just criticized psychology and really and realize this is what we tell ourselves is important. And the stories and the and the reasons and the discussions that we have with ourselves and the and the willingness to feel bad about things about ourselves when we ought not to part of our conditioning. And and and my message has been for 50 years.
You don't have to feel that way. You don't have to do that. There is another way to be another way to live and you can live free. It doesn't mean also that.
Jeff Ross (20:07.084)
Well, you were going to say something and I'll come back. So, yeah. So I feel like the profound moment here in this whole conversation is, is, what are we attaching ourselves to? You know, this is something that I've been sort of discovering over the last two years, right? And I feel like I've, I've sort of hit the nail on the head for myself. And, and, you know, my own journey before was I was, I was attaching to the way that the world. What would be? But then I thought, would it be to show up?
You know, and how they, and how I thought the world wanted to see me. So my expectations of what the world was looking, viewing me through those light, that lens was a bit skewed, right? But I was attached to that. was conforming to that. I was conditioned to believe those expectations and, and now, you know, coming into this last two years, and I, this is where I feel like my own journey has just gone from leaps and bounds and you know, it feels, things feel a little bit easier. Things are happening. Doors are opening.
And the profound sort of insight here is my attachment has shifted. My attachment's no longer on me, myself and I. It's not even on the way that the world sees me. I had to, for me, in a spiritual context, bring in my attachment to the way God sees me. And, you know, in the Bible, you read that God sees us as we're wonderfully made, we're created in His image, you know, so I needed to attach to that identity.
And that's the big key word there, right? Is their identity and where we see ourselves and how we see ourselves and what is our attachment to that identity. And so that shift in that attachment, because I feel like, you know, as humans, we all need to be attached to something. We all need to belong to something. We all need to feel like we're contributing somehow, right? And it was that shift for me is where the real sort of strength and growth and
and really starting to live in that light and that love and that positive and that abundance. That was the big sort of profound shift for me. Can you sort of unpack that and go a little bit deeper with that? yeah, again, you've said so many gems. It's beautiful. I would offer this, and that is.
Jeff Ross (22:18.638)
It's all about what you said in the beginning. It was about loving and loving yourself and loving God or the universe or whatever you want to call it and loving others. The more that we allow ourselves to be loved, the more we allow ourselves to love, the more love is something that we promote and spread, the more everything opens up for us. Love is one of those just very powerful, positive emotions. And the issue is that so many people
are so busy setting their boundaries and worrying about what other people will do or how they will respond or that they're trying to hold me back or that they're energy vampires. And I go, you know, Jesus didn't walk around going, know, you're sinners and you're whores and you're drunkers and you're, know, he accepted and said, you know, do you believe you've been healed? And they said, yes, he goes, good, go. Your faith has made you whole now. Go and sit no more. It was, it was so accepting. And the
the healing, he didn't walk around going, hey, I healed you. You got an arrogant. I'm the guy, you know, he had all the marketing machinery to make him a big sale. It was all about the person. was a relationship he had with the person, even if it was in that second of what he did to allow them to come into their own understanding that it wasn't he did something special. It was who they were.
So be, do, and have is important. There are people who go, I can't manifest, I'm having trouble, I'm struggling. And there's all these people out there who are are you having trouble manifesting things? And I go, you you will until you become the kind of person for whom manifesting is easy. Because if you're sitting there going, this is hard, I don't get it, that's not working, you're not the kind of person for whom it's easy. Because if it's easy, it's something you do naturally. If I said, can you walk across the room and get a drink of water? You don't go.
I don't I mean, there may be some people who have a challenge physically and not able to do that. But if you if you can physically do that, does it take confidence? Does it take a superpower to do it? No, I go through it. Well, man, it could be that way, too, but so should loving. So should our relationship. They should be such a part of us. So, for example, I write about in my book, a number of different people, I know maybe six people who have been paralyzed in their life told they would never
Jeff Ross (24:36.59)
walk again or move again. One I write about in the book is that Jamie Nehjo, an Olympic athlete, made a quadriplegic. The statement is, believe the diagnosis, but not the prognosis. There are people who are told that they won't live another year, another four years, another 10 years, and they go on and they live 30, 40 years. so the point is
is you have to understand that that's what attitude is about. if you just accept what someone says, and they go, here's your sentence, you're never going to walk again, and you're never going to be able to do anything again. And you go, OK, and you accept it, well, it's likely that you won't.
But a friend of mine, Dan Clark said, I went to 16 doctors. He was paralyzed as a teenager playing football. He said, I went to 16 doctors. Why did I go to 16? Because the first 15 told me I'd never walk. He said, I wanted to find a doctor who could say, yes, it's possible you could walk. It's possible. Yeah, bring that hope into the conversation. And you have to. And you have to be hopeful, and you have to be optimistic, and you have to be positive. And if things don't work out, going back to the original thing, if it doesn't work out like the Wright brothers do, you adjust and you continue.
And you adjust and you continue. The gentleman who has no arms and legs, he's a public speaker. I can never say his name, Verbecek or however they say it. He says this, he says, people come up to me and go, how can you be happy without any arms and legs? And he says, I got a question for you. How can you be unhappy with arms and legs? Beautiful question. Yeah. So it's really what you think of it. So what you said about loving is really important. And why do I?
do what I do because it's a relationship. Now there are plenty of people who speak to stadiums. I've spoken to stadiums, but that's not what thrills or impresses me. I've been on TV in front of millions of people. That doesn't impress me. What impresses me is this kind of conversation that you and I can have right here. Because it's not about convincing. It's not about persuasion. It's not about influence. It's not about right or wrong. It's about connecting with another person. Yeah. It's what I call a heart to heart connection. It's like where...
Jeff Ross (26:47.086)
We're meeting each other. You're on the other side of world. I'm here in Australia, but our energy is palpable. And we're having that energy transfer. It's a two-way conversation. It's heart to heart. When I do live events, I limit them in terms of size. I don't want 40,000 people. don't want 4,000 people. want three. I want enough people that I can interact with all of them. I can have dinner with all of them. can sit down and get to know them. That might be 20 or 30 or 50 people. But the point is that
I want to get to know them. I always say that if I'm alive, that people fly in from all around the world to hear me speak and to be in my training or whatever, that I'm the luckiest person in the room because they're all there to see me, but I get to meet all of them. And each and every single one of them have a skill, a talent, an ability, an insight, wisdom, or some experience that I don't. That's beautiful. But I get to connect with them and they get to enrich me and I get to enrich them. So my Rex's rule
is always this, go first. Want to be listened to? Listen first. If you want to be respected, respect first. If you want to be loved, be loving first. If you want to make money, be generous first. And so many people are trying to do this and this and grab and grab and grab and grab. they're trying to do these businesses and they're trying to get their money. It's important. I'm not saying it's not. But if you look at the people who are mega successful,
And granted, there's some there's some counter examples in today's world. People get rich overnight in, you know, in the stock market or in, you know, crypto or something. But if you look at the history of the world, the people who made the deepest impact, the biggest impact to get the most wealth and the most fame for the most part were people who went to serve the world, not themselves rich. Yeah. They were either connecting the railroads or they were building a better steamship.
Yeah. said they had a legacy. Yeah. Air travel and then rocket ships came about. I mean, in other words, it's always been in the service of humans, not in just the service of self. Yeah, it's beautiful. And if look at it, if you're going back to Jesus, if you look at Jesus, whether you believe he's a deity or no deity, let's just let's he's not for a second, say that he's not his mission still was to reach people where they were at to help them heal.
Jeff Ross (29:11.854)
and to discover that the kingdom of heaven was within them. It wasn't to be grandiose and get rich Jesus. So and the transformed cultures, you know, still 2000 years later. But if you look at the Roman culture, who crucified Jesus, you know, their culture was so opposite to what he stood for. And then 600 years later, they're
adopting everything he stands for, know, they've actually brought in the Catholicism, they brought in the Pope and they've actually transformed the culture and that's what he did in that time. I don't know any person in history who's had that much influence on culture. And so you've got to look at the man itself, you know, and what he did in that space and how he did it. And I find that very fascinating. Shifting gears a little bit here. I want to talk to today's world and
And one of the biggest challenges I see in like online marketing, social selling arena, whatever you want to call it, is trust is at an all time low. You know, and, you know, it's, it's, it's no wonder it's at an all time low. People have been scanned left, right and center with data, crypting, whatever it is, the MLM industry, whatever you want to call it. And 20 years into this, you know, online business space now,
I would go far as saying that the day of the celebrity guru type coach, the look at me, you know, the ones with the flash cars, the flash planes in the background, I'd say that day's over. so do I. I, and what I see beautiful happening is the, you know, the, ones who get it right, focusing on community and they're, they're doing it together.
And like the coach as well as in a position really is the facilitator, is the guide on the journey, but it's all happening together in community. And I'm finding that that's where the real trust is, is developed. I'd love for you to share your decades of wisdom and experience in this space and what insights that you have on this conversation. Well, again, it goes back to love and it goes back to
Jeff Ross (31:25.614)
accepting yourself and accepting others and loving yourself and loving others and the relationship and what is unity but people relating inside a group. Now I hate the term like-minded people. I get it. It's nice to hang around with like-minded people but I want people who also challenge me and provoke me put me in a place I would never... So I don't just want like-minded people. I want people. And if I can be open and accepting to all people,
You know, again, so here's the thing. Do you think that an enlightened person like Buddha, Jesus, Lao Tzu, you know, name any that they were concerned that they look at who Jesus hung around with? He didn't go there. You know, I'm surrounded by these energy vampires and these takers of these suckers. They're like minded people. Well, and they weren't like minded people. But the point and the points that I'm making is that it didn't bother him. It didn't get him. You know, he didn't go off his message and.
And it's because the person who is above that can expect anyone, regardless of their what they do, what they think, their political, religious views, their practices. It doesn't mean you have to tolerate crime. not saying that, but there is a saying love the sinner, but don't love the sin. you know, and forgiveness is extended to all. It's not just. when Jesus was a
in front of pilot, he said, Well, who do you say you are is like, Jesus remained silent. He didn't sit there and go give you every reason, you know, why pilot should have, you know, if he to defend himself or justified or anything, he just and so much today is is that you know, it's marketing, it's standing in front of a yacht going, here's my yacht, whether it is or not. It's it's in its backwards. Again, it's be do and have and what so many of the gurus have said either because they are
intentionally wrong, deliberately wrong, lying, or they don't know any better. And one the big things that I don't like about today is people say, if you don't know it, teach it. Because if you ahead of the person behind you, you can teach them. Well, that's true unless you're headed toward a cliff. Yes. I mean, you know, if you don't know it, what are you teaching? You're teaching what you don't know. So you're teaching wrong. so what are you doing? You're setting people up to fail not to succeed. And you're and you're teaching the wrong stuff. I can tell.
Jeff Ross (33:50.124)
having been in this business for 50 years, oftentimes where people are or who they learned from because of who they quote and whether they quote that person or if they misquote saying, that so-and-so said this when it wasn't that person at all. Somebody had said it years before. They attribute it to who they heard. In other words, people parrot the same mistakes. What is it? There's nothing new under the sun, right? And that's not a good or bad thing. But my point is that
the gurus out there, whose day you said may have come, tell you, you have to sacrifice, you have to work really hard, you have to give up everything, you have to, they have these memes of here's success and it looks good, but then you look at the back and there's arrows in the back and a hatchet in the back and all these things. I find that not very cool. agree. Well, and the reason for that is because
If you love what you're doing, you're never going to work a day in your life. Those people who are driven to serve others because they love it, because they're passionate, because they're consumed by, you know, doing something, or if you love art or acting or music or poetry or whatever, you do it and you do it, do it, do do it, it. And then you go, gee, I haven't eaten. I haven't taken a bath. I haven't done anything in the last week. my gosh. It's not hard work. It's dedication. It's obsession. It's obsession. It becomes obsession and it's intensity. So the thing is,
When they tell you, have to work hard, 10 exit, have to fire walk, you have to take massive action. They're wrong. When do you have to take massive action? Rarely. Your car gets stuck in the mud. You have to do something extra to get out of the mud. But once you get it out of the mud, you don't have to keep taking it out of the mud. don't have to keep doing it. It's a really good example. Yeah. You know, so, so my point is this. They either have it wrong intentionally, or they have it wrong inadvertently, either way they have it wrong. And here's the message.
If you work really, really, really hard, you will get the things that you want, cars, jets, trophy, spouse, house, mansion, fame, celebrity, power, whatever, and then you'll be somebody of importance. So if you do it hard enough and get the things, those status symbols, that will demonstrate your worth. People go, I've made $4 billion. You should listen to me. And I go, well, who cares?
Jeff Ross (36:14.03)
You're good at making money. It doesn't mean you're a good person. It doesn't mean you're wise. It doesn't mean you're smart. doesn't mean you're a good dad or a mom or sister or brother or whatever. All it means is that you are good at making money. Now, do I want to make money? Who should I follow? Well, I might follow somebody who's good at making money, but I want to make sure that they're a good person too, because I don't want to pick up their traits of not being a good person. I want to learn from the people who are loving, kind, gentle, generous and compassionate who also are good at making money. So who you'll listen to.
who you learn from, who you pay attention to is so important on your path because you can spend a lot of time learning from people who aren't there for you, they're there for them. And what subliminal messages do you pick up?
Jeff Ross (37:06.228)
And that's a rhetorical question. not trying to answer it, but you could say, mean, in other words, you're surrounded by something that's not intrinsically good. Why would you spend your time there? So this is not to criticize any one person, my point is it's healthy to acknowledge this and speak it out and speak that truth out, because I really believe that there are a lot of people out there that are being manipulated, who have been set up to file and
and all that sort of thing. And this is something that I sort of stand for and stand against as well, you know, to speak that truth out. thank you very much for voicing that. appreciate you. I think it needs to be said. I spent decades saying it, you know, but I mean, you know, and here's the thing. It's like casting pearl before swine. Those who are ready to hear it will hear it. Those who have eyes can see it will see it. Those who have ears to hear it will hear it. And those who don't.
When the, when the student is ready, the master or the teacher, the lesson or the experience will appear. So in its own time, they will discover what they discover, but in the meantime, they will need to do whatever they've done. And if you do what you always did, you always got to get what you always got. Yeah. Right. You know, so, And, like as a student of the Bible for the last 10 years and, and, you know, there's, there's paraphrases in that and this very bad, badly poor paraphrased just to give that context.
But there is passages in there that says that, you know, even people who read the Bible, who don't understand the power of God and love and all that is basically going to be interpreted as gobbledygook. You know, like it's going to be foreign. They're not going to get it. So it's, you sort of got to be go through the experience and get the wisdom and then the fall on your knees a few times, get a few scars, get a few battle wounds, whatever you want to call them.
go through that life, but keep leaning into it and coming back to our whole conversation started off as, as embracing that, you know, learning how to pivot and adjust and file forward fast, right? Well, and, and, yes, and to your point and I, and,
Jeff Ross (39:13.134)
Even the Bible says beware of those who are dressed as sheep, but are actually wolves who are deceived, you know, and to pervert or to lead astray, you know, I mean, so it, you know, there's a recognition that that just because somebody says something doesn't make them true. You have to have wisdom and discernment in order to be able to tell. And so for a lot of people, they don't know how to discern because they don't have any experience. So they, know,
And we were talking about, you know, today where there's so many false gurus or false promises or things. It's because we're now so far removed from people in the old, you know, not that long ago, but to say 20 or 30 years ago when there was no Internet and you had to do things by direct mail, you know, or you had to pick up a phone and call somebody or had to go knock on a door. There was a physical cost to promoting the program.
So I had to produce a brochure, that was a copy, page of white paper with black print on it or a four color brochure, whether it was one page or 20 pages, you know, and then mail or distribute that. That was a cost. That was an overhead. If I went to a hotel or a retreat center and had to pay for the coffee and the, you know, the room and everything else. Well, with the internet, there's, there's almost no money that needs to be spent to reach people with a message. Yeah. Everybody has a voice now. Yeah.
that may or not be accurate. it's very hard to know, you know, if the person who's promising what they're promising and everybody's saying the same thing and it's all designed to be branded and to stand apart and to be noticed and to be different and to claim that market share because there's all this. I mean, and there's nothing wrong, by the way, there's nothing wrong with advertising. There's nothing wrong with marketing.
It's all, it's all, it's all, it all works. It's all mechanical stuff and it needs to be happening, but it's the, it's the heart behind it, right? It's the intent behind it. That's exactly my, yes. We're on the same page with that because it's, if, if you're just marketing to try and get money and there's nothing wrong with money and there's nothing wrong with getting money, but if that's all and you're not interested in other people or connecting with other people, your very efforts sometimes will, will
Jeff Ross (41:37.25)
They can work for a while, but they don't typically work forever because if it's all just about marketing, there's got to be something that you're marketing that's worthwhile. It's a substance to it. Yeah. And it's going to be more than bigger than you and it's long-term. Totally agree. And yeah, very profound. So thank you very much for sharing those insights. I think that's very valuable for our audience to sort of take this away and...
you help them set, set themselves up to success and understand that a lot of these core fundamentals, they're timeless. You know, it doesn't matter what tool, what campaign, what, you know, tactic or whatever it is that you're using when you can come from these core fundamentals that are timeless. Then, you know, you use the right tool, the right campaign, and that's where the supercharge happens. Right. So for your audience, anyone there who wants to make money, if you decide.
I want to make money, but I want to serve people, serving people, adding value, delivering goods, my promises, keeping my word, because your word is your bond. Then I go, go for it, go for it. And yes, you'll have to market. You'll have to do all these things. the point is that they're used to there still is. But sell the sizzle, not the steak. You've heard that, right? Well, OK, you make it sound really good and juicy, but you should still have a juicy, really good steak. Yes.
If you're selling, if you're still going to a good product at the end of it, right? You can have a good product at the end of it. The other thing is, you know, over, over, over delivered, but under promise or under promise. Otherwise you get the whole experience like the Mike Tyson fight that we just saw on Netflix. Oversold. It marketed very, very well, but the product itself was a little bit to, you know, to leave a sour taste in people's mouths.
Absolutely. what the whole message boils down to this is be authentic, develop relationships, connect with people, build community. When I created the company's idea seminars and we trained all around the world and people would fly in all around the world. And what we did is we created back, this was before the internet, but it was called Idea Family because everybody who came in and my promise to each person, you know, like an NLP or whatever program I was doing, I'd go,
Jeff Ross (43:48.702)
I will for as long as I'm alive, I will honor my promise to you to answer any question for what was covered in the program for as long as I'm alive. And, and, and so how do we do that? We stay in touch. We stay in touch by direct mail or, when email happens. I'm going to adopt that moving forward. That's brilliant. am still, mean, 30, 40 years later, I still, we're still together. Not all of us. mean, many have died. Some have disappeared. You know, we've gone different way, but we, there's still the people there.
I had somebody reach out the other day and said, you know, I was your student 1996, you know, and I just wanted to say, so, I mean, the point is, you know, and I would, you know, if I did three different programs, I would say, and they did all three programs and the promise is good for all three programs. If they did one of the three, the promise is good for that one because they wouldn't get the other two. You know, can't answer questions. foundation or the context. Right. Right. But my, my point was I want to be connected and I want to help somebody.
I say this in regards to American football, that I consider myself like a quarterback. And I don't mean the star, because that's what people think of the quarterback is the star of the. Yeah. What I'm saying is, my job as quarterback is to pass the ball to you or to hand the ball off to you so that you can move the ball down the field to score. Yeah. And then as a team, we win. Yeah. Let the mind thing be the mind thing. Yeah. You're as important as I am.
Because if I hang onto the ball and I get dropped where I am and nothing nothing's happened. So I have to get it to you. That's my job to get it to you get the information get the strategies the methods the principles practices books the programs the training or whatever it might be to you so that you can score and then you own your scoring. Somebody raised me a letter says Rex what I learned from you.
allowed me to do this or I did this is I go great. If they say, Rex, you changed my life. I go, no, you're wrong. You changed your life using something that I told you or gave you or whatever. But you, the importance is on that person, not on me. know, it's like a true partnership. When a true partnership works hand in hand and really well, right. It's, it's you take the responsibility for your actions and the other person take responsibility for their actions. You're not responsible. You know, so you're responsible to not, sorry.
Jeff Ross (46:13.678)
You're responsible to, to bring your party to that to play, not responsible for the other person, how they react to respond, but they're also responsible to, you know, playing in this. That's not 50 50. It's you're bringing a hundred percent. They're bringing a hundred percent and you the 200 % you go and win together. And on top of it being a parent, right? You want your children to do better than you have mostly. mean, a good parent does. And so a good teacher or guru.
wants the student to surpass them. You don't want followers. Even Jesus said greater things you will do than I did. So, I mean, if he could say that, why couldn't we say that? Why couldn't we say, my goal is for you, if you have to stand on my shoulders, stand on my shoulders, but you should surpass me. You should leap at the starting gate as I think Carnegie said, you pass me at the starting gate kind of thing. That's the goal of a good.
trainer or teacher is not to have millions of followers, it's to have millions of people who go on and who are better than you are, who can reach more people than you could, and who help build that community all around the world. And I say, you know, there's 8 billion people in the world. want to help all 8 billion improve. People go, well, that's a lot. They go, well, one person at a time. If you shared it to one person, another person shared it one person. One plus one equals affinity. Yeah. I mean, you know, it's absolutely doable.
Unless your attitude sucks, unless you go now, I can't do it. And you have all the reasons why it can't be done. So we circle all the way back. You know, it's beautiful. I love that. I just read I just read a book by Dave Ferguson. He's a he planted a couple of churches in Chicago area and the book's titled Hero Maker. And so like it's discipleship 101 sort of stuff one night. And I really resonate to that book at the moment. And the big key theme is, is I don't want to be the hero.
I want to be a hero maker. know, I want to help make other heroes who are hero makers. And that's beautiful. So I just want to wrap up this conversation just quickly. I think we've shared a lot of awesome stories and, I think attraction marketing 101 principles is to become that person of influence and to become that person of influence, we need to master storytelling. And there's an amazing story, you know, amazing tools now in the AI space that help us to do this. But
Jeff Ross (48:35.082)
AI is not a tool to be replaced. It's not to replace us, it's to be leveraged. Our marcher at the LaptopLive.Dad's community is AI plus our heart equals our superpower. So I'd love you to just sort of share your wisdom and insight into storytelling and how you some frameworks that we could probably adopt to be able to run with that and leverage AI as a way to help us to master storytelling. Is that something you can speak into?
Sure. mean, you know, there's there's ways to think about it. You Jesus spoke in parables. And, you know, are those parables true or not true? We don't know. I mean, you know, are they actual examples of people? But he wasn't telling stories about himself that weren't true. He wasn't going, well, when I was a kid, I did this and that and the other thing, at least not that we know of. Right. So my point is storytelling is a great avenue. And people want to.
hear stories because we have this thing called mirror neurons. It's like when you go to a movie and you watch a movie and you cry because the person is hurt or sad or dies. That's not just because it's a story, it's because you actually have a receptor in your body that's connecting you to the experience where you can, in a normal person without damage, they can feel that compassion or that empathy or that sorrow or that joy that another person is feeling. And it even extends to physical abilities and talents like
being in the presence of somebody who's an expert golfer or martial artist, by being in their presence, you tend to go through it in your head and experience in your DNA as they do things. So I mean, there's a lot of, when I started 50 years ago, there was so little research in all of this around the placebo or an attitude. Now there's 40, 50, 60,000 studies that demonstrate what I'm talking about.
So stories capture the heart, they capture the imagination. So if you can, if you can capture someone's imagination, it's great. I say, be authentic, tell a true story. Don't tell a, don't fabricate something that isn't true. Cause if you get found out or caught out, then you, then you come off as well. would you tell? love what Donald Miller from Storybrand says in that space, you know, like it's, to, it's to be vulnerable, but we're all be real, you know, in being that space, but share stories in a way that connects.
Jeff Ross (50:55.402)
us through experience and in that emotional context, right? And I think, think, you know, somebody to me to say, said something about my dogs today and the guy said, Hey, all the young people now love dogs, you know, don't look at landlords who are like the old landlords who didn't want dogs. So young people like dogs. was like, that's an interesting way of thinking about it. But, the same is true about so many things. This notion of real and raw. It was a long time ago where you had to have
you know, four cameras and all the lights and be in a studio atmosphere and all the right mics. And then what happened is we found out that there was this thing called YouTube and people were looking at little crappy videos on their phone instead of going to the 70 millimeter, you know, screen readers. were like, no, let me get, you know, and they're scrolling and they want that authentic, real, you know, unmade up, unlit, know, non-perfected
phoniness that comes in show business or in, you in our light. It's relatable, right? They want they want the real law. They want the person who's down to earth. They want because I think what's really happening is people more today than ever because of the internet. We really do want connections. We're we're being misled to think, you know, we can do it all through the computer and all through artificial intelligence or whatever. But it really comes back down to being, you know,
being more human and having more human experience and human time together. And then whatever tools we use understand that their purpose is to connect us. Amen. to heart. Yeah. And it's like, at the moment, one of the things I love to say is the world is starving for connection. It's starving for love. So we have a responsibility to help meet people where they're at.
and give them that connection, give them what they need, that love and that light in the world. And authenticity. Somebody who's not afraid to speak the truth and who won't lie and who won't deceive and who won't con you but says, here's what it is. And you might not like the truth or you might love the truth, but the person has integrity to speak that truth. Yes.
Jeff Ross (53:10.156)
regardless of the outcome. That doesn't mean you have to go out and shock people and hurt people with the truth or anything like that. It's not banging them over the head with it. But when asked, be honest. Yes. You know, truthful. It's truth with love. I truth can be delivered without love and it can come across as that bashing across the head sort of scenario. But if you've got truth with love, that's where you're making a stand for people and you're saying, okay, I respect you. I can see more in you. And this is what needs to happen. But
Here's a bit of kick-ass love, if you will, and I'm making this stand for you, but you you're the one that's got to do the work type sort of thing. So if I may, and this might offend some people, then I'm not here to offend, but even the Bible, I love the Bible, so I use it. You know, a lot of people think the Bible is mostly about sin and hell and forgiveness and eternal life. the surface, it probably is. If you get underneath it, be promoted that way by who's ever promoting it.
4,000 promises in the Bible about goodness and life and love and abundance and prosperity and joy and happiness and family right here on earth. Over 4,000 of them. And people tend to forget that. So when Jesus said the kingdom of heaven is within you and seek first the kingdom of God and all his righteousness and all these other things will be added unto you, I think he meant it. In other words, whatever you want to.
I'll give the disclaimer, however you want to interpret that for yourself. The point is...
If your heart's in the right place and you're operating with integrity and you're loving and connecting with other people and your goal is to serve and to add value and that is your promise and your commitment, your word is your bond. That rawness, that authenticity that will stand out and it will put you head and shoulders above everything else because you're standing on promises that are timeless. Sorry, I've just gotten...
Jeff Ross (55:10.222)
You've just spoken right to my heart and I've just gotten very emotional.
Jeff Ross (55:15.83)
I reflect back just to my own life at the moment, especially in this last 10 year period. I was an atheist 10 years ago and now I'm a church planner. I've gone from that whole extreme to the other extreme. And when I reflect back about 10 years ago, when I got to the deepest darkest area of my life and my story, it was all about the Jeff Ross show. It was all about me, myself and I had a lot of success.
in that space. I had success. I lost it. I had success. I lost it, but it was really, it was about the Jeff Ross show. And, and I did, I was leading from that space of arrogance and ego and look at me, look at me. Now this time around, you know, moving into this space, it's, it's a whole different energy. It's a whole different feel. It's a whole different purpose. It's a whole different intent. And basically the sum it up, you know, the Easter time this year, my wife and I felt called.
to start an online church. And we call it today's discipleship community. And essentially the DNA and the culture and the mission that we're on is to transform the one through Jesus' love. And we're basically just teaching people how to love themselves, how to love God, how to love their neighbors, and then go rinse and repeat, go make disciples of all nations, right?
And that is the crux of it all. And it's just beautiful just to see what's happening in this space. Cause it's not about us. This is something much, much bigger than us. And it's about the people that we can serve and how we can help people meet that love, that light, you know, that essentially that space and help them to rinse and repeat and do the same thing out of love themselves. it's beautiful, beautiful to see what's happening. Well, and I applied to.
And what is the greatest commandment? Love God with your whole heart and soul and mind, love your neighbor as yourself. I mean, it couldn't be- And in the great commission, in the great commission is to teach people how to obey Jesus's commands and go make disciples of all nations.
Jeff Ross (57:19.052)
Yeah, I mean, and be renewed by the transforming of your mind. Right. So we can get into this and we can over complicate it and we can, you know, we can make it really messy and really hard. But when we bring it back down to the simple truth with love, like, and then we just go do the work. It's a lot of fun. And so what I would say to those people who go, I don't want the religious stuff. I don't want that, you know, maybe for you, but for me, you know, I have a different way. I'm a different.
cut out all of the scripture, you know, in terms of thinking where it comes from, but understand the principles that are being articulated or being shared are about communicating with other people, sharing and loving and being present, being giving. you know, as Napoleon Hill said, go the extra mile. Well, if you could go the extra mile with another person.
walk a mile in their shoes or hold them hand while you do that, you know, you're, delivering value. And if that's your purpose in business, you know, your business can, can the sky is the limit because you will stand head and shoulders of all the other people who don't do that. Yeah. Well, I could talk to you all day on this topic. What is the saying? I could talk to a deaf dog. It's sitting at the corner of round table, the mouthful of marbles underwater.
So I have never heard that statement, but it's one I want to keep from now on. love that. That's very good. I can talk to a deaf dog on the corner. I saw a deaf dog at the corner of a round table. was it talked to a deaf dog caught in a round table with a mouth full of marbles underwater. There you go. There you go. Well said. So, I like to, to wrap up these podcasts. I did warn you.
with a bit of a clean, simple dad joke. Being known as the king of dad jokes with three amazing boys. They're getting to that age now where they're starting to go, dad. And they have that impact. But hey, what do you call a cow with no legs?
Jeff Ross (59:23.31)
a cow with no legs?
Jeff Ross (59:28.878)
Right. Grand beef. Ooh.
And what do you call a cow with two legs? What? Lean beef. jeez. jeez. I grew up on cattle ranch. Do you know where you get a dragon milk? No, where do you get dragon milk? From a cow with very short legs.
Love it. have to use that one. Well, Rex, it's been an absolute pleasure, mate. Thank you very much for this time. I really will cherish this moving forward. For our listeners who they love to plug in, get your book, you know, connect with you. How can they do that? Well, they can get my book from Amazon or they look, it says rexsikes.com book. And if they go there, there's instructions which will send them to Amazon to get the book. But when they come back,
they'll get a bonus video online training that's valued at $497 on mastery, how to master your thoughts, your feelings, your words, your actions and behaviors to get different kinds of results and to master any talent or skill you'd like to do. So that's my gift to people who would get the book. They can reach me there. I've got a great program right now called the, know, your best life using Einstein and Tesla's genius. if you go to my website, you look at the different
offerings and if you choose to dive right in because I'm there and I love, I love helping people. So, I love that. love that. And I know what I'm going to be doing as soon as I get off this call is I'm going to go get your book and I'm going to just become a student of Rex because I actually love everything that you have to represent. I totally resonate, totally connect. And I thank you very much for your time. I really appreciate you. So for our listeners, I always like to think, you know,
Jeff Ross (01:01:23.794)
Part of this whole purpose of this podcast is to empower and equip people and help them to live their best version of their lives. And, you know, we can be either knowledge on ice or we can be ignorance on fire. And, so I love to leave people with a bit of a takeaway action step that they go and do straight away. What do you feel would be that one action step to help them to get in the game and actually go take action?
Jeff Ross (01:01:50.23)
The best thing that a person could do to stop worrying about all the other stuff around them and focus on developing themselves, finding their true self release and let go of whatever holds you back and develop your mindset so that anything that you want to be able to do, you decide that you can do. And a lot of people.
I want to be able to do this. How about starting to say I'm choosing to do this or I'm manifesting this as opposed to I want money. I'm manifesting money. I want a new career. I'm manifesting a new career. want a car. I want a manifesting a car. You know, make it something that is deliberate that you can do because after all, when it comes down to it, you're either the cause of the goodness in your life or you're not. So be the cause. Yeah.
We can have our results and we can have our excuses. Well, I like it like this. I go, there's dog crap and diamonds you have to choose. And a lot of people choose dog crap. other side. That's a better way I put it. I like that. But the other side to it is you, is people stand on a dock and on a boat and they have one foot on the dock and one foot on the boat and they go nowhere. In order to go somewhere, you have to get both feet into the boat and then go to the destination. Good to go a little lean. Yeah. Here's the good and bad news.
Now you're in the boat, moving towards your destination. You may not make it to your destination. You could die. The world could end any number of things could happen. So how you make it to the destination is the most important thing. That's pretty profound. I think we need to come back for a round two on this and actually go deeper in this conversation. Cause straight away, as you mentioned that I reflect on Paul in the Bible and the amount of shipwrecks that he had to go through to get to his destination. Right. Right.
Yep. So it's travel well. So I say, if you have a problem with dog crap or diamonds, if you think of something, it's a problem. It's a problem. If you think of something, it's a blessing. It's a blessing. So celebrate everything. It's a choice. it. Well, Rex, thank you very much for your time, mate. I really do appreciate you and legends. What a way to end the year and start fresh. You know, this conversation with Rex Sykes is exactly the kind of inspiration that we all need heading into 2025.
Jeff Ross (01:04:09.314)
The tools and strategies that Rex has shared aren't just for listening, they're for you to take action. And I highly encourage you to go get his book and then plug into that free session that he offers at the end of that like absolutely amazing time. Let's go. So take one idea from this from yourself and don't sit on that. Let's go and apply it. Let's go and start messy. Let's go and learn through the experience and let's go do the thing that will require us to go get the result.
right now, so now's the perfect time to do it. Let this be the most transformation, transformative year that you've had. And hopefully this podcast, this episode is being just a chapter in your book to help you point you in the right direction. As always, hey, if you found value from this episode, make sure you share it with someone who needs it and make sure you go subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes. We're found on Spotify.
Apple podcast, YouTube, and we're also partnered up with the Los Angeles Tribune podcast network. So massive thank you to you, Rex. Really appreciate you for helping to make this episode happen. Here's to starting 2025 with clarity, purpose, and impact. I see you on the new year with the Laptop Lifestyle Dad Show. And until then, stay caffeinated, stay legendary, and keep bouncing towards your dreams. Thanks, Rex. Thank you.